Mariann

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is now wondering if all those profile views were actually from her checking for typos.

Personal Information

About Me
Well, I live in Alabama...but I'm FROM New Jersey...so I am entitled to be sarcastic and cynical (I'm forewarning everyone) - and I pretty much talk non-stop. I hope to be a writer when I finally grow up...and because I can (and have no real job) I've taken it upon myself to put "writer" in the little "occupation" block of all paperwork I fill out now...so I can seem important.

I have an interactive comedy website, www.HumorMeOnline.com - which I started in 2001 - feel free to play...and you can win prizes (some of which you might actually want to own). I also write a blogumn (it's not really a blog per se - it's more like columns or very short stories...hence the name "blogumn" I invented and people have since stole from me - oh, the humanity) at the Montgomery Advertiser's online site...and also here: www.mariannsimms.blogspot.com/ - where it is much more aesthetically pleasing. (Personally, I like my much older blogs better.) Feel free to comment...good or bad...anonymously even. (I live for comments - it makes me feel all warm and happy inside...kinda like wine but without the nice buzz.)

My claim to fame would be that, in 2003, I was chosen "Grand Prize Winner" of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest - and bestowed all the accolades the title entitled me. Please, if you've never heard of it, check it out...and see if you can one day, like myself, live in literary infamy: www.bulwer-lytton.com/

I guess this is the part where I tell you that I like wine...so..here goes: I like wine. I like champagne as well...and I'm pretty darned fond of Grey Goose vodka. Oh...who am I kidding...if it has an alcohol content designation on it...I probably like it. ;)

More About Me

I love...
"The History Channel", very old films, cooking, Grey Goose Martinis, flowers, cats, and trying to write entertaining things which people actually want to read.
Rants
People who douse themselves with perfume or cologne. I have this "dog nose"...no, seriously, I swear I could get a job as a drug-sniffing dog at the airport...and as such, my nose really can smell the faintest tiny odour -- now think of that woman who walks past you - the one you'd have to fumigate your car if she got into it? Well...magnify that tenfold - and welcome to my world.

People who seem oblivious to everything going on around them as they have their cell phone glued to their head.

People who sky-dive whilst juggling kittens. I don't know what this new craze is...especially in Australia for some reason. I tell ya...I can't even beam up YouTube without seeing one of those videos. Why people feel compelled to make a home movie of it...and then post it up online...is beyond me. ;)
Favourite Wine
I am enjoying sucking down Veramonte Primus lately. I also love Jacob's Creek Sparkling Wine...that is some tasty stuff for only $9 a bottle.

Location

Town / City
Wetumpka
Country
USA

May 8, 2010 12:50:12 PM EST

in the topic Aussie Burger Recipes Anyone? in the forum Just Chewing The Fat

Okay, I want to make some Aussie burgers tomorrow and I thought this might be one of the best places to ask for genuine recipes.

I am in the US...and I made some a while back using roasted beets...or as you guys call them "beetroot". I'm not partial to the canned ones and the roasted ones tasted great (altho perhaps not 100% authentic).

Does anyone out there have some awesome Aussie burger with roasted beet(root) recipes?

Time is also of the element...so put down that glass of wine and please help an old chick out. :)

Thanks!

Mariann
February 15, 2009 6:00:24 AM EST

in the topic A-Z Wine Terminology "BoozeMonkey-style" in the forum Just Chewing The Fat

Personally, I think it would be fun if we added a few of our own words and definitions to the "wine terminology" dictionary you have here. Let's see if we can pass any off and get used in any "offical" capacity.

Keep in mind, if they can add "mouse potato" and "unibrow" to the dictionary...well, I think we could invent some really nifty wine terms and words of our own.

A couple examples I just now came up with (again, keep in mind no sleep and headache for two days):

Merlow: The cheapest bottle of Merlot one can find because you were tasked to bring it to a party at someone's house you really don't like.

Stembare: Those silly Riedel glasses without the stems that look like Weebles.

Tannons: Having absolutely no tannins in your wine whatsoever.

Corkscrewcap: A nifty little gadget that a sommelier will soon invent which will make it more presentable looking to "uncork" that bottle of wine with a screwcap at your table.
February 15, 2009 5:21:12 AM EST

in the topic Love & Hate in the forum Just Chewing The Fat

I love the fact that apparently I can use the word "bastard" here and not have it removed or told I must use another word. ;)

I pretty much hate everything else.

Just kidding...I'll get back to you on this one - I have a monster headache the last two days.

And, Hank, do I know you? Marmite AND two-steppers all in one fell swoop? Surely you have put spyware on my computer somehow.